Thursday, 26 February 2015

The Journey

The Journey

Safe, happy, together.
Until…….. a big gust of wind blows me away from my family, then a huge cloud of thick fog approaches making the faces of my family fade.
I feel miserable and lonely as I drift away into the foggy forest. I then land into a pile of other leaves, I feel different and scared as I hear heavy thumps. It gets closer and closer, I try to stay as quiet as I can so that it doesn’t squash me. I can see the angry expression on its face looking like it is going to squash me as I lie there waiting for the right time . All of a sudden it picks me up and blows me away.

I start drifting away into the open forest. At first i’m scared but then I start to recognise the way. I can hear powerful gushes of water hitting into the river. The ear bending sound of the wind howling frightens me. I can smell the essences of the fresh water which fascinates me. The expression on my face then lights up which made me say in a happy mood, “I’m going home!” I then enter into the watery atmosphere. I try my best to land safely into the water. The cold touch tickles me. I drift off all alone looking like a
abandoned driftwood. While i’m drifting the happy expression on my face slowly fades. I then start to think about my family and friends which makes me happy again. Then a huge burst of wind pushes me. It then lifts me up into the air. I start to fly away like a bird. Then I soon recognise that I am going to the opposite direction of where my family is. I then start to feel miserable and droopy again. Even though I was feeling miserable I still never gave up I am still going to find a way back home even if it takes me days. As I hover across the different types of trees and rivers I soon found myself in a nest.

I start to panic. I start shouting to myself, “I’M GONNA GET EATEN ALIVE!” Then soon realise that birds don’t eat leaves. THey ain’t vegetarians. I feel so embarrassed. As I waited and waited I could hear chirping nearby I get scared and frightened. I start to panic and then after waiting for several hours a huge gust of wind finally comes and takes me away just in time before the birds come back to their nest. “whew, What a relief.” I say in a relieved tone. I then start my journey again in the air. The view from above was beautiful. I could see the different types of trees, insects and waterways. 

Then from a distance I can see my home. I start to get excited and happy. The closer I was home the more excited I got, I just couldn’t wait, I was so impatient that I began wobbling and shaking. After the excitement I finally was at home. My brothers, sisters and parents were so happy to see me. They said that they woke up and saw that I wasn’t there and started to worry. They thought I just went for I ride around the Forest. But when I told them the awesome journey I had they didn’t even care as long as I was safe at home.

 

1 comment:

Ms Aireen said...

A very descriptive recount Mehi. You have developed the key ideas in each paragraph by indicating and deeply describing different senses which paints a clear picture in the readers mind of the main events and character in your story.

The use of descriptive language in this story builds suspense and tension throughout your story leaving the reader with a sense of feeling - a feeling of hope, a feeling of satisfaction that the main character has made it safely home.

You are a confident writer Mehi and you now need to control your sentence structures and learn to write sentences for effect in a well controlled manner. We will work on this throughout the term so that you achieve your writing goals.

Malo aupito!

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